


If Zim and Dib were friends (Short drabbles)

by Emma_Shay



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Drabble Collection, Family Feels, Frenemies Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Funny, Gen, Humor, No Romance, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27429721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma_Shay/pseuds/Emma_Shay
Summary: It's not ZaDr. Don't even think about it. This is just would I think it would be like if Zim and Dib were friends. See, sometimes we need a break from all the chaos of the world. That's what I hope to bring to you with this. If you have ideas, or see areas that could be improved on, tell me in the comments. You can be a total jerk about it, I don't care. I don't get offended easily. Most of these are gonna be pretty short, while others are longer. I won't have a consistent update schedule, not now at least. But I've rambled on long enough, enjoy my story!
Relationships: Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), GIR & Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz & Zim (Invader Zim)
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Hello and welcome to my FanFiction! If you didn't read the summary, I'll summarize here! 

I've seen ZaDr EVERYWHERE, and I mean everywhere. And to be honest, it's getting annoying. So I decided to tease everyone and make a collection of drabbles based on what it would be like if Dib Membrane and Invader Zim were friends! 

Let me clarify here, there will be absolutely NO romance and NO smut! We're kid friendly here! And also because I'm bad at writing smut, but moving on! 

Zim and Dib are basically treating each other like siblings here. My main goal is to make you laugh, and if you see ways that I could make that happen in a better way, just tell me! 

But please note that this is my sense of humor here. If fart jokes and puns aren't your thing, you've come to the wrong fandom entirely. Like seriously, why are you even here? 

And if you're a sensitive bean this probably isn't the fanfic for you either. 

Also if you're so sensitive why are you in the Invader Zim fandom? Have you READ Johnny the Homicidal Maniac? Have you watched one episode of IZ? Man, people are just setting themselves up to fail here! 

But seriously, if you're gonna get butthurt over me joking about being butthurt just go away. This isn't the fanfic for you, go away. Maybe try watching the Loud House, I heard they're pretty safe. 

And if that IS your cup of tea, welcome aboard! You're gonna have a blast here! We've got stupid jokes, sarcastic jokes, death jokes, and even joke jokes! 

Now watch me not update for a year-


	2. Sometimes Going to Skool Can Change a Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it took a little longer than expected, but here it is! Thank you to my friend from Wattpad, @Iexist_congrats. She doesn't have an account on here, but I still wanted to mention her. She has a lot of good ideas for this story, and helped this one come into being. So, if you have a Wattpad account, you should definitely follow her. Anyway, on with the story!

Bored.... Bored... Tired, and bored. Dib had his (admittedly large) head resting on the desk, rolling a pencil back and forth. Skool had only just started, and Dib couldn't wait for it to end.

The rest of the students, minus Keef, seemed to be feeling like same way. But none of them dared to speak in fear of Ms. Bitters' definitely cruel and unusual punishment.

Some of the braver ones were passing notes, but even then it was risky. Dib wondered how they cou-

"Class, I would like to introduce the newest, hopeless appendage to the student body." Ms. Bitters' growl suddenly interrupted Dib's train of thought. "His name is... Zim. Zim, if you have something to say, say it now, because after this moment, I don't wanna hear another sound from you!" 

Looking up, he couldn't help but stare.

"Hello, friends. I am a perfectly normal worm baby." The new 'student' spoke, with a deceiving smile on his face. "You have nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from me. Just pay no attention to me and we'll get along just fine."

"Take your seat now, Zim."

Did no one else notice this?! Dib looked around the rest of the students. 

Sara was picking her nose, The Letter M was asleep, and the others just looked bored and out of it.

There was an alien right in front of them! Who knows what horrible, gruesome thing he had planned.

An alien.... In their class. Dib thought about it. Maybe the alien was friendly?

Zim stood up on his desk, waving both hands.

"Yes, Zim." Ms. Bitters sounded annoyed, but then again, she always sounded annoyed.

"In the event of, say, a full-scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's defenses would be? Tell me!" He sat back down, his eyes on Ms. Bitters, awaiting an answer.

Nope. Not friendly.

Completely ignoring the question, their teacher continued her lecture about space and how everyone was doomed.

Okay, what could he do about this? Dib took out his paranormal hunting notebook, flipping to a blank page.

He began to list off everything he knew about Zim. He was an alien, trying to pretend to be a human. That was simple.

His disguise was horrible, and yet it worked on everyone except Dib. 

He talks weird, and has a backpack seemingly attached to him. That's it.

Wow, he really didn't know much about Zim. Dib decided to keep an eye on him and collect as much information as possible. Then, based off his research, he'd make a plan.

And so, for the rest of the day, Dib did exactly that.

At lunchtime, Zim had a little run in with the beans. Apparently they're poison to aliens. It burned his skin, and made him run around screaming.

At recess, Dib hid in a tree with binoculars. Zim seemed to be doing something suspicious, but Dib lost him after being attacked by a squirrel.

Zim didn't do much in classes, but that didn't stop Dib. He still took notes, although these particular ones were a bit repetitive. He just wanted to feel like he was doing something productive.

Finally, skool let out. Dib followed the alien, jumping behind trees and in bushes when he turned around. 

He tried to be as quiet as possible, but it's a little hard when you land face-first into a spider web. 

He followed Zim all the way a strange house, where a little green dog with a taco answered the door. 

Dib rushed to window, not wanting to miss out on anything important. He took a camera out of his magical cartoon pocket, pressing it against the glass. He made sure lens cap was off, didn't want t to make that mistake again.

Zim said something to the dog, who saluted and literally jumped it of his skin, revealing himself to be a robot. It wasn't the weirdest thing Dib had seen, but it was still weird. 

Zim too had taken off his disguise, and Dib nearly passed out from excitement. Just wait til he showed this to the world, they'll never call him crazy again! 

Dib peeled himself away from the window, running over to the door and kicking it down. Well, he tried to, it only resulted in a hurt foot. 

Zim must've took this as someone knocking on the door, and he opened it, now back in his disguise. 

"Who are you?" He asked, already looking suspicious. "What do to want? Have you come to eat my organs?!" 

" I-"

"Have you?!" 

"....No." Dib suddenly felt a little less confident than before. 

"Oh." Zim, for some reason, looked disappointed. "Well then, what do you want? I'm busy doing normal things y'know. " 

"I know what you are Zim! You can't fool me!" Dib tried to look intimidating, but it wasn't quite working for him. 

A brief look of panic flashed across Zim's face, but it quickly disappeared as he spoke. "A normal human human? 'Cause that's what I am. " 

"No, you're an alien! And I've got the proof right here." Dib held up his camera with a smug look. 

Zim paused, looking from Dib to the camera. "...Not If take it." 

"What?"

Before he could react, Zim snatched the camera out of his hand and raced inside. 

"Hey wait, give it back!" Dib ran after him, panicking to himself.

He ran past the little robot, who was covered in what he prayed was only mud. 

"Give it to me!" Dib yelled.

"No, it holds lies!" 

"Give it!"

"No!" 

"I need it!"

"I need it more!"

Dib doubted that, but continued to chase him. That is, until he jumped inside a toilet. 

The boy stopped, staring at the place where Zim used to be. "Uhhhh, hello? Are you down there?" 

There was a beat of silence.

"No. Go away." 

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that and come down anyway." Dib said as He sacrificed his dignity and followed Zim down the toilet. There was no one around to see him anyway. 

TWO HOURS LATER

"DANGIT ZIM I'VE BEEN HERE TOO LONG, JUST GIVE ME THE CAMERA!" Dib yelled, beyond frustrated now. 

He ran at Zim for what felt like the hundredth time in only two hours. But thankfully, he let his target.

Snatching the camera away, Dib stood triumphantly. "Finally, that took long enough." 

Zim got his feet, glaring. "No one will believe you. It's your word against mine, and everyone loves Zim so there's no point in trying." 

Dib shook his head, "Not after they see this. It's undeniable proof, not my father could explain this."

"Because he's stupid?" Zim asked.

"Yes! Wait no- he's not stupid." 

"What do you want from me, human?" ZIm finally asked, getting tired of bruising his ego. "All I want is to destroy you and everything you care about. What's so bad about that?" 

"Everything, Zim." Dib sighed, but then got an idea. "What if we made a deal?" 

"A deal? I don't make deals." Zim crossed his arms with an unimpressed look on his face. 

"Well this is a good deal!" Dib insisted. "Let's say, hypothetically, I don't turn you in for being a horrible green space monster. I'll help you research Earth, and you'll help me research whatever you are!" 

Zim thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons. "....I can still take over through, right?" 

"Yep!" That was a lie, of course, but Dib would cross that bridge when he got there. Besides, he could always secretly mess up Zim's plans anyway.

"...Okay." Zim nodded. 

"Wait really?"

Zim nodded again, internally plotting the human's death in eleven different ways. "Yes, I accept your offer, pig boy." 

"Great!" Dib held out his hand to make it official, but Zim just looked at it. Dib frowned and took Zim's hand, shaking it. "You have a lot to learn... " 

Zim wiped his hand off on his shirt, following Dib, who was looking at everything he could. "What's this?" He reached for a beaker full of purple liquid. 

"Oh, that's GIR's. He wanted a friend." Zim said nonchalantly.

"Can I touch it?" Dib didn't know who GIR was, but he didn't sound that important. 

"Sure, if you want your squeedilyspooch to melt."

"My what?" 

Both of them knew that this friendship probably wasn't a good idea, but Dib saw potential in it. What neither of them knew, however, was that the camera never recorded a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, please leave kudos and don't forget to drop a comment on the way out. I'm open to requests, as long they aren't ships, smut, or anything you wouldn't want your pastor seeing. 
> 
> On that note, have a great day, and I'll catch you all in the next chapter!


End file.
